How to I deal with Naysayers?

How to I deal with Naysayers?

This might seem like a strange Blog post topic but it is a question I get asked often, mostly by clients who come to me looking for support in achieving their goals, and helping with the emotional consequences of change as they pursue their dreams and ambitions. 

I like others have experienced the moments when you have the opportunity to catch up with family and friends (and maybe strangers, the Internet and Social media can bring this forward ). Filled with excitement about the progress you have been making with your own personal development, you start enthusiastically telling them of your experiences, findings and feelings. To only then possibly, to your disappointment, have an occasion where find a Naysayer. Yes, we have all experienced them, whilst not every interaction is like this, there really does always seem to be one! 

Not heard of the phrase naysayer? Well a naysayer is someone who discourages you for reasons they will sometimes take the time to explain. For example ''you can't get up that time of day, you will be tired!'' ''You'll never be able to do that in this economy, the money’s not there!'' '' You shouldn't do that you won't achieve it, come on be realistic!''. 

Usually a it is a difficult and tiring interaction or conservation. For what gives someone the right to discourage you? or tell you that pursuing your goals and dreams, is a waste of time? Words like ''your joking right?'' Or ''That’s impossible!''. 

So how then do I and you if you come across them, deal with these experiences? 

My solution and one I like to share with others is to firstly (take a breath) try and understand where they were coming from. If you take a minute to think about each persons comments and asked yourself the following questions, you may find this part of the process easier. 

• Do they have a valid viewpoint? This would be one that they have clearly thought out and articulated or is it just their opinion? 
• Are they successful in their life?  Are they living the life of their dreams or have they achieved what you are looking to achieve yourself? or are they unhappy or unfilled themselves.
• Are they are speaking from experience? If they are is it then from the facts of that experience or are they speaking from their fears of change and lack of own personal development.

If it’s the later of those answers,  I decide to just disregard that comment, feedback and input that they have offered up. My goals, like yours are precious, they are what I feel passionate about, what gives me hope, what serves me a purpose in life and makes me happy. I’m not going to engage with anyone who is trying to squash my dreams and motivation. You don't need to be rude or aggressive in doing this, you can walk away, say thank you for your opinion, or thank you for your feedback I'll think on it. Even delete and or block if they are not face to face. Find a way that allows you to just shake it off. 

If someone is going to consciously or unconsciously sabotage your mindset, squash your goals and limit your potential. It is beneficial to consider if they are someone to actually share them with in the first place. You might already have an idea that if you start telling someone about them they would have an opinion, negative tale or own agenda before hand. Especially in the early days of establishing new foundations towards your goals and dreams. Have the confidence to say thank you and move on. I, nor you need their approval, need to defend our reasons or feel we cannot be ourselves. If we can remember this then we will have a mindset ready to keep making progress. 

Limit the time you spend with these people and surround yourself with ones who improve your life, through encouragement , inspiration and positivity. If your not in a position that you want to eject the naysayer from your life, then protect your dreams, work diligently towards them and don't bring them to the conversation with these particular people. I truly believe that one day they might just come back to you and just ask how you did it! Bring people into your life that believe in you, encourage you and inspire you. Find tools that can support you, read books, watch videos, listen to podcasts, read blogs, try flower essences for supporting emotions like confidence and upset, join clubs, make new friends and connections. I have found the more I have done this the more progress I have made, the happier life has become and the less I have found Naysayers taking up time in my life. I am sure you can do the same! 

Feel free to share your experiences in the comments below or through my social media Facebook or Instagram. Here is a place where I want you to achieve your dreams, be you and be happy! 

A.K.A Magick Mummy